more on commitment

I am learning the difference: "Commitment" has one 'T", and "Committed" has two.

I've decided not to do the Self Expression and Leadership Program this fall. I think this seminar has helped me come to that decision. Getting real about my commitments made a difference. If I say that I am going to walk this marathon on December 9, and then fail to allow time for training, then I am not living in reality. I put everything down on paper and looked at it, and realized that I was left with little time to study, and little time for exercise.

The other piece of the decision comes out of this likely move to San Francisco for a year. I know that the SELP is about contributing to a community. I would rather not rush through this in preparation for leaving. What if I did SELP in San Francisco? Also -- last night's seminar got me really excited about the Assisting Program. Whether I stay in Seattle or go to San Fran (I'm still hovering at about 90 percent sure I'm going to SF), I want to participate in assisting.

So... Now I'll share about my possibility. Last night, I saw that a hidden commitment to being RIGHT operates in the background of much of my life. I noticed that, in conversations, I tend to listen for opportunities to be RIGHT.

I am creating the possibility of being a clearing for possibility in my conversations. This is related to who I say I am in this blog: the possibility of generosity. I can create space in my listening for what's possible (ANYTHING) -- and give up being RIGHT.

I also saw a hidden commitment to being a FRAUD and a FAILURE. I think this also operates in the background in my life. I came home last night and talked with Susan and Monika about this. Like, when I say that I am committed to abundant health, and then I secretly eat a piece of cake in the break room when no one is looking. See, then I get to be RIGHT about being a FAILURE. Ha, ha.

I am creating the possibility of being authentic and successful.

commitment seminar assignment, post #1

On commitments -- what I say they are, and what they actually are:

- I say that I am committed to extraordinary health. What shows up in reality is commitment to my comfort. For example, I called in sick to work yesterday because I was having some lightheadedness and dizziness, and I slept all day. When I woke up, I could have gone for a walk (I felt great after the extra sleep and had no more dizziness), but I made up that since I stayed out of work for the day, I probably shouldn't go out for exercise. I was actually just experiencing inertia, and then I made up a story that let me stay comfortable.

-This is an area of my life that is important to me. One of the things I am taking on in this seminar is having a breakthrough in the area of my health. On December 9, I will be completing the Honolulu marathon (as a racewalker). The last time I did this was six years ago, and I am significantly less active now than I was then. I am also working on finding a diet that works for my body as well as my soul and the planet (an authentic relationship with food!!), and this is posing some challenges (the dizziness above; I think I may be missing some nutrients, but it's going to take some work to find out).

-I did go to the doctor today and asked for some lab tests. Results will be available in a couple of days. New openings for action call us powerfully to action!

i love apples!!